What the Heck is COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE?  Is This Something That I Want to Look at Doing?

At one time we had looked into offering collaborative divorce services.  The idea of the “collaborative divorce” plan was popping up in various seminars and Bar meetings

Over the past few years we have had some clients in the office to discuss whether or not a collaborative divorce was right for them. Most people do not even understand what collaborative divorce is, and before you can decide that it’s right for you, you have to understand what it is.

Collaborative divorce is a process provides a husband and wife with a dispute resolution alternative (similar to mediation – but much more complex), that allows the parties to put aside their own differences and work for the good of the whole family. All parties sign a participation agreement and in the event the collaborative process fails, the parties are required to discharge their respective attorneys’ as well as the mental health and financial experts that they have engaged as part of their team. The reason that this type of divorce works is because of the commitment that both the Husband and the Wife make to one another that they are NOT going to go to court.

There are certain questions to ask before you  determine if collaborative divorce is for you:

COST – Collaborative divorce is VERY expensive.  Are you willing to pay up front for your divorce? Collaborative divorce requires the employment of two attorneys, usually a mental health expert and a financial planner/accountant as part of the “team”. While this may seem extraordinary, the average divorce can cost well over $50,000.00 if litigation is required. While it is hard for most people to shell out this amount of money up front, a collaborative divorce may end up saving money.

EMOTION – Are you able to set aside your emotions in order to make logical informed decisions that require you to forget about the fact that you are hurt by your spouse? Emotions run high in any divorce, but in the collaborative process, you are required to sit across the table from your spouse and make decisions. If your hurt and anger will not allow you to make decisions, the collaborative divorce would be very difficult.

PROCESS – Are you able to look at the means rather than the ends? If you already have an exact idea on what you are looking to get out of your divorce in terms of property distribution, alimony and child issues, again a collaborative divorce would be difficult. Collaborative divorces are process driven, meaning that its not about where you would end up in court. Its about whether getting to a point where the outcome is equally palatable for both you, your spouse and your children.

GOALS – Do you and your spouse have common goals? In order for a collaborative divorce to work, you and your spouse not only have to have the common major goals, the sub goals need to be similar if not the same. Without common goals, collaborative divorce cannot work.

Collaborative divorce is not for everyone.  It can be expensive but it can preserve relationships that help you raise your children.  Keep in mind that both of you must agree to it and if it fails you get to pay twice.

If you find yourself in such a position it is best to consult an attorney with substantial experience. There are so many different circumstances that a proper answer to your particular problem can only be obtained by a trained and experienced lawyer.

If you have any question regarding this or any other legal matter our firm may be able to help you. Please contact Jupiter Legal Advocates at (561) 748-8000 or email us at [email protected] for further information and assistance. We try our very best to respond immediately.

If you require the immediate services of a highly experienced and aggressive attorney, please call for a FREE consultation

JUPITER LEGAL ADVOCATES

561 748-8000
or email us at:
[email protected]